


Her Worth

by TheBigLoserQueen



Series: Medieval AU [4]
Category: Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: AU, Abuse, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Medieval, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Comfort/Angst, Crying, Dragon-Blooded, Emotional, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Family, Family Issues, Gen, Heavy Angst, Human, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Medieval, Royalty, Scars, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-14
Updated: 2017-08-15
Packaged: 2018-12-15 09:04:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 16,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11802870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheBigLoserQueen/pseuds/TheBigLoserQueen
Summary: Charlotte's self-esteen hits an all time low.





	1. Chapter 1

Charlotte quickly made her way down the hallway, scrolls in hand. She had been walking down towards the parlor when she came across two servants carrying what looked to be a hundred different scrolls, both of them struggling to hold them on. When she had inquired about it, they had told her that they were delivering them to several of the king’s men stationed in the castle. A few were for the king himself, all directly from the spymaster. 

In an effort to take the burden on them (as well as have an excuse to see Ultra Magnus), Charlotte took the scrolls meant for him and headed down to his study. It had been a while since she had been able to talk to him… But she knew she couldn’t complain. He was the High King – his people needed him more than she did.

Besides, she would be spending time with him soon. They had a few galas to attend together; the advisors insisted that she remain by Magnus’s side at all times. It was good for the public to see and get used to the woman he had planned to make his queen.

She was still trying to get used to that. She, out of all the women in the kingdom, was going to be queen. Because Magnus loved her and had proposed to her. He had never consulted his advisors, didn’t discuss anything with her family, and didn’t let anyone know he was going to propose to her. So it wasn’t just her who had been shocked when he asked her to be his wife.

Charlotte smiled. She honestly never anticipated falling for the king, but she never would have suspected him to fall in love with her too. Not when she was just so… ordinary and plain. She had no special talent and she wasn’t beautiful or gifted or smart… But he still wanted to marry her. He wanted to be with her, just like she did him.

Her family had been just as shocked as she had been. David had been incredibly happy for her… and it had been the first time her mother had ever praised her for anything. Louise and Clyde had been proud of her too. Her father, Elmer, and Yvonne hadn’t really said anything, but Yvonne did admit she was impressed.

That had been enough for her, especially since it was more praise than Charlotte had ever gotten from any of them. At least she knew she wasn’t a complete disappointment to the family now, even if she never intended to get their praise for falling in love.

She made her way over to Magnus’s study, raising a hand to knock on the door. But before she could, she heard voices inside. Strange, as far as she was aware, he wasn’t supposed to have company. Unless his advisors were inside… Growing more curious, she quietly pushed open the door to peer inside.

The last thing she had been expecting was to see her father and Elmer sitting across from Ultra Magnus’s desk, her fiancé still writing and working on some documents while her family spoke.

What were they doing here? As far as she knew, there wasn’t any sort of economic crisis going on. As for Elmer… She honestly wasn’t sure why he would be here. Unless he was having issues that his power as a Thane couldn’t cover. She knew he would come to Magnus for help every now and then.

She let out a small sigh. Well, so much for spending a little more time for Magnus… She would just have to leave them on his desk and be on her way so he could talk to them in peace.

Just as she pushed the door open more to make her presence known, Magnus said, “I’m going to marry her. That’s final.”

Charlotte paused. Marriage? Wait… They were talking about her? She bit her bottom lip, looking over her shoulder to make sure no one was coming down the hallway. Then she turned back to the three men inside, all of them still obviously to the fact she was standing right there.

“I understand your feelings, Your Majesty,” her father said gently. “But I must ask you to… reconsider your engagement.”

“Do you believe I’m not good enough for her, Ronald?”

“Q-Quiet the opposite, King Ultra Magnus,” Elmer interjected. “We apologize if we have caused offense, that isn’t our intention.”

“But you take issue to my engagement with Charlotte.”

Her eyes widened. Her father… had a problem with her being engaged to the High King? Her brother too? They… had an issue with this? She couldn’t understand. She was engaged to a king! In their eyes, she couldn’t have picked a better partner! Her father had always been about reputation and pride… And she was going to marry the High King. She, his daughter, would become queen!

How could they not be supportive of this? Elmer had once told her that all she was good for was marrying someone who wouldn’t bring the family shame. And surely Ultra Magnus fell into the category!

“Your Majesty, we have no issue with you,” Ronald said, clearing his throat. “Any woman would be more than fortunate for you to be interested in her. Charlotte included.”

“The issue lies with Charlotte herself.”

Ultra Magnus glanced up at Elmer for a moment before going back to his document. “And what’s wrong with Charlotte?”

“She doesn’t suit you, My King.”

Charlotte felt her heart stop for a moment, eyes widening. She… didn’t suit him? Yes, she had questioned her worth more than once, but… His advisors had been pleased with her. She came from a good family, a great one even. She may have not have had any talent, but the advisors said that they were glad Magnus had picked her. And he said he loved her. That he thought she was more than simply worthy, that she was beautiful and talented and…

Her toes curled in her shoes as her bottom lip quivered, looking to her father. He looked completely serious too. And Elmer had nodded in agreement. She didn’t understand.

“While my sister is of noble blood and a proper lady, she lacks the prestige I believe is required to be your wife.”

“Yes, and Charlotte… As you may know, she is rather ordinary,” Ronald said carefully, sparing a glance at his son. “Out of everyone in our family, she has not truly contributed anything meaningful to any particular field of study. Nor has she done anything that people would applaud her for. She is… quite average.”

“And we fear that would cause you embarrassment,” Elmer added. “Charlotte is a simple woman and I do not believe she is up to the task of being a respectable queen. There has already been discussion amongst the nobility as to why you picked her over more accomplished women.”

Charlotte felt sick to her stomach. Her entire body had seized up, almost as if she were in pain. And she was doing her best to not just start crying. Even… Even after she had left the house, even after she had done what they both wanted – to marry a well-respected man, to not embarrass them by standing out too much… They still had so much to say about her. They still thought she couldn’t do anything right.

She couldn’t even fall in love without being reprimanded. It wouldn’t matter who she married. Her father and Elmer would always think she was an embarrassment to the Banks family name. Nothing she could do would ever be enough for them… They would always be ashamed of her, no matter what she did.

“We just don’t want your reputation to be put at risk,” Ronald said politely. “I don’t believe Charlotte can handle the pressures of being your wife. I don’t want her to embarrass you in front of your subjects.”

Ultra Magnus let out a long sigh, putting down his quill to look them directly in the eye. “I appreciate the concern, but I’m marrying Charlotte regardless.”

“But, Your Majesty-!”

“I said I’m marrying her. If she does embarrass me in the future, I will with it when the time comes.”

Charlotte felt tears running down her cheeks. Even Magnus too... Even he also thought that she... That she would probably embarrass him. He didn't deny it, he didn't say she wouldn't embarrass him... He knew. He must have thought the same things. That she wasn't anything special, that she was ordinary and pathetic and nothing compared to her family... That she really couldn't handle it.

She slowly closed the door, letting the scrolls fall out of her arms and onto the floor. She clamped a hand over her mouth, shaking hard as tears trickled faster down her face. What... What was her worth? What did she matter? Even if Magnus said he loved her... How much could he love a failure of a person? A woman who had no talents, no beauty, not even the love of her family...

Her family had been right. She wasn't worth anything.

As poor Charlotte was standing there, only having the wall to support her weight, she failed to notice the figure rushing down the hallway. Perceptor cursed as he hurried down the halls. Drift didn't help the matter with that little stunt he pulled last night. He promised he would let him sleep early to start the day off, but that sultry rogue had...

He couldn't be distracted right now, but something he hadn't expected to see today was his aunt standing like a statue outside of Magnus' study. He had been overjoyed to hear the King had proposed to her; they were perfect for one another and made a darling couple. She had only been happy around him and ever since she had come to live at the castle, she always seemed to be in a great mood, always smiling and laughing...

But now… why was she crying?

"Aunt Charlotte?" he minded the scrolls scattered around her feet, reaching out to place a hand on her shoulder.

But when he touched her shoulder, she ripped her arm away to show her face. Charlotte choked on a sob, revealing the tears just pouring down her face. Then she turned her back on her nephew and running down the halls, sobbing as she disappeared from view.

"Wait!" Perceptor wanted to follow, but the question of what upset her left him curious. Quickly collecting the scrolls, he found they were all meant for the King. Had she come to give them to him? Had she read one and it had caused her sadness? Scanning each scroll, he found they were all still sealed, and it wasn't in her nature to snoop through records not meant for her.

Severely confused, he knocked on the study door and entered. But seeing who was inside, everything made sense.

"Of course," he hissed, watching as not only Magnus turned his attention but his father and Grandfather.

"Perceptor," Magnus greeted, gesturing him over to his desk. "I suspect those are from Prowl? Leave them here."

Perceptor nodded, walking past his father and grandfather. Just seeing them hear explained why his aunt had fled in tears. Both of them had always caused Charlotte such pain, all because they believed she wasn't worth any effort. If they only took even a moment to see what a loving and caring woman she was, not what academics or frivolous accomplishments she made, they would see. But they never would, and he intended to at the very least make the King aware.

"My King, I feel that I should inform you that... Lady Charlotte fled from your door in tears."

Magnus rose from his seat, concern shifting across his face as well as surprise. She had what? His eyes shot up to the door, starting to think of what she might have heard.

"And I have no doubt whatever was said-" he glared down at his father and grandfather, not saying but hinting who the line was directed to "-has caused her tremendous grief."

Elmer's eyes narrowed at his son. "We said nothing that could have offended anyone."

"Your Majesty." Ronald stood up, raising a hand up to calm the king. "If Charlotte did hear us, she will be fine. As a child, she has always been overly sensitive. I'm sure she wasn't that upset."

"I assure you, she was," Perceptor glared. He always kept a straight face when dealing with these affairs, but his father and grandfather went too far. "You both have always put Aunt Charlotte down, nothing she does is good enough nor up to your standards. You have no right to penalize her nor cause her such stress."

"Perceptor," Elmer stood, squaring with his son.

"No, Thane," Perceptor respected his father's title, but it wouldn't save him from this. "Aunt Charlotte isn't being over sensitive, and you both have certainly said enough to warrant offending her, more times than one."

"Perceptor," Ultra Magnus spoke, turning his steward to him.

Perceptor refused to give his father any satisfaction, but he would never dishonor his king. "Forgive me, my King. I am merely giving an honest account. I meant no disrespect."

"Find her. Tell the guards to look for her and bring her to the parlor." Then the king turned to the father and son duo, eyes narrowed at them. They avoided his gaze, bowing deep. "You two are dismissed. A servant will you see out."

Magnus quickly stormed out of the room, leaving the family to themselves. Elmer's gaze turned to his son, glowering at the smaller male while Ronald just ran a hand through his hair, suddenly exhausted. This day was just becoming more and more of a pain by the second... Damn it, why did Charlotte have to show up at the worst of times? Everything was already a mess.

"You have some nerve humiliating me and your grandfather in front of the king."

"You didn't need my help to humiliate yourselves. You are quite capable of doing that yourselves," Perceptor remained firm, standing tall. It was good to finally see his father getting justice from his abuse toward his kind aunt. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have my aunt to find. A servant will be along momentarily to escort you both out. Have a lovely day, my Thane. Lord Banks." With that, Perceptor held his head high as he walked from the room, almost pleased he had the chance to force his father down a level.

Elmer snarled, looking to his father, who was just rubbing his eyes. Damn that boy... Ungrateful and haughty, siding with his aunt. He would definitely punish him later for this. His wife would know what to do. She was more creative with punishments that he was. Ones that would actually hurt.

But there was nothing to be done now. Hopefully this mess would be straightened out and that would be the end of it.


	2. Chapter 2

Charlotte kept her head down, her hooded cloak wrapped tightly around her as she made her way along the path. No one had taken much notice of her, probably thinking she was a beggar or something. She was glad she had this cloak – it was plain and a muted color and she had own it for a long time now, so it was a little ratted at some ends.

Which, in this case, was fine. For once, she didn’t want anyone to notice her.

She had snuck her way out of the castle while the guards were looking for her. No doubt to bring her to talk to those people… Primus, being inside that place only made her feel suffocated. She didn’t want to see her father or her brother and she didn’t want to see Magnus either. She didn’t want to hear what they had to say. She had heard enough.

She reached up to rub her eyes, feeling tears starting to spill again. She didn’t want to cry anymore… She was already so exhausted. How many times had she spent nights crying herself to sleep when she was a kid? Praying that one day, she would be good enough for her family. That she would actually be worth something and not just an embarrassment…

Even David probably thought she was a joke. He pitied her and introduced her to the king on a whim. He probably never wanted their relationship to go as far as it did either. Among the nobility, she was a nobody. She had done nothing worthy of note, she was a forgotten face of the Banks family, people actually being surprised that she was even related to them.

She wished she had never been born into that family. All she wanted was to be loved, regardless of her talents and lack thereof, she just wanted someone to tell her she was fine as she was. She thought she had it with Magnus, but…

Even he thought she wasn’t that worthy. He also thought of her like her family did – an embarrassment. That maybe she wasn’t really worthy or thought she would potentially ruin his imagine… She didn’t belong there. Not in the castle, not as the future queen, not even as his lover… She didn’t belong with her brother or even back home. She had nowhere to go…

Except for maybe one place.

She turned down a corner, following a brick path that lead to a small, beautiful house tucked behind taller buildings and trees. And judging by the lights blaring from the windows on the bottom floor, she knew at least someone was home. Even if it wasn’t Alice, it would have been enough.

Alice had been her best friend since they were children. Her parents had never cared for Alice’s family due to their lower status, but Charlotte had always hung out with her during galas and parties and such. They hadn’t been able to see each other much after Alice got married, but they had always been in contact.

Though showing up randomly at her front door probably wasn’t the best idea either. But with no one else to turn to, she reacted the door and lightly knocked on it.

She didn’t even look up when the door opened. There was a long pause, Charlotte gripping her cloak tightly. She could see the shadow over her, much taller than her… No doubt her husband Jermaine. Did he not recognize her? She had only met him a few times and it wasn’t as if she was a memorable person.

But just as she opened her mouth, he suddenly called out, “Alice? Come here.” 

Charlotte glanced up at the man, who was still looking over his shoulder. Soon enough, Alice appeared out from one of the rooms, a smile on her face. But it quickly disappeared when he moved out of the way a little to show Charlotte’s red, puffed up face reflecting off of the light.

“Ch-Charlotte?!” she cried, rushing over to hold her friend. “What are you doing here?!”

She couldn’t respond, even if she wanted to. Sobs started to escape her again, hanging her head as she wrapped her arms tightly around her friend. Alice looked caught off guard, Jermaine appearing just as confused as his wife. But when she felt her shoulder grow wetter, Charlotte starting to shake in her arms, she quickly pulled her inside while Jermaine shut the door behind her.

“Charlotte?! Charlotte, what’s wrong? Why are you-?!”

“…stairs…”

“Huh?”

“T-Take me upstairs…”

Alice and Jermaine exchanged glances with each other. While Jermaine remained uncertain, glancing between the two women, Alice knew what to do. Though she had never seen Charlotte look this disheveled before, it wasn’t the first time she had never needed her comfort. She had told Jermaine before Charlotte’s home life wasn’t the best, but he didn’t understand like she did.

While she ordered Jermaine to get her friend some water, Alice slowly guided her up the stairs to the guest bedroom. She never would have guessed Charlotte would have come to her like this now… She had seemed so happy with her new relationship with the king. And when she told her Magnus had proposed to her, it seemed like nothing could have been better… And Charlotte said that she could rely on him. That he was a good man who understood her and loved her.

So why was she here and not going to the king for comfort? Unless she had a fight with him, which was entirely possible. Couples always had fights every now and then… But why would an argument lead to Charlotte looking like this? Like her entire world had just collapsed…

Alice led her to a guest room, gently removing her cloak to hang up. But before she could say anything else, Charlotte pushed her away and moved to the bed. Alice could only watch as she kicked off her shoes, lifting up the covers to crawl into the sheets. Then she turned her back to her, bundling up in blankets like a hermit.

“Charlotte?”

“… I’m sorry,” she whimpered out in between sobs. “Just… Let me stay here for a while?”

Alice’s shoulders slumped. Primus, just what had happened to her? Not knowing what else to do, she sat by the balled-up lump, rubbing what she assumed was Charlotte’s back. She flinched, but didn’t tell her to stop, so Alice just continued as she tried to think what might have happened.

She would usually think it was her family, but the fact that Charlotte hadn’t even gone to the king… He had to been involved too. How involved, she couldn’t be sure, but involved enough that Charlotte had run away to her house. She wanted to ask, but judging by how her friend was curled up into herself, she probably wasn’t ready.

That was all right though. She could wait.

The door opened, Jermaine entering the room with a glass of water. Alice gestured for him to set it on the night stand as she continued to rub Charlotte’s back.

“Are you hungry?” she asked softly. “Jermaine brought you some water, but do you want anything to eat?”

“No…”

“Okay. Is there anything I can do for you?”

“… Don’t…”

“Hmmm?” Alice leaned forward a bit to hear her better.

“D-Don’t… Don’t tell anyone I’m here,” Charlotte whimpered. “I just… I don’t want anyone to know. Please.”

The couple’s eyes widened. They looked at each other, completely bewildered. All right, so Charlotte had definitely run away… and now she was asking them to keep her a secret from everyone. Including the king! Wouldn’t that count as treason or something else that they could have been severely punished for? Though it wasn’t as if the king was aware of Charlotte’s friendship with her. Not to mention she and her husband weren’t that high ranking of nobility. It would take a while for anyone to locate Charlotte, unless someone shadowed her here…

Jermaine watched her wife bite her lip. Personally, he didn’t think it was a good idea. They may have been friends, but lying about her whereabouts if anyone asked? That just sounded like they were asking for trouble.

But before either of them could say anything, Charlotte whimpered out, “Please… I-I just want to be alone… Please.”

Alice sighed, rubbing the back of her neck. She couldn’t say no now… Not when Charlotte was begging her so desperately. Now she was even more curious as to what had happened to bring her to such a state. But she wouldn’t ask now. She would wait until Charlotte was ready… and in the meantime, they would have to hide her here.

“Get some rest, okay?”

Charlotte didn’t answer, only curling up into herself more.

Alice stood up, gesturing for her husband to follow. He spared another glance at Charlotte before shaking his head, walking out of the room and closing the door behind him. His wife was rubbing her eyes, letting out a small moan before leaning up against the wall.

“Are you really not going to tell anyone?”

“It’s what she wants.”

“But you could get into serious trouble with this-!”

“Jermaine, please…” She walked up to her husband, wrapping her arms tightly around his waist. She knew he was just trying to protect her, but Charlotte needed them. She wouldn’t ask this of them if it wasn’t serious. Charlotte had done a lot for her when they were kids, keeping more than one of her many secrets. If all she wanted was to hide out for a little bit, she could do at least that.

Besides, Charlotte would defend them. While the king and her family would be upset, she would make sure Alice and her husband wouldn’t be punished.

“It’s only for a while,” Alice murmured, nuzzling his chest. “She’s my best friend… I can’t turn her away. Not when she’s like this.”

Jermaine bit the inside of his cheek, glancing at the door. He knew how close Charlotte was to his wife. For a while, it was all Alice had talked her. Hers and Charlotte’s little adventures together as children. He had thought them funny, even a little cute… But he also knew that Alice had comforted Charlotte a lot due to her family, just as Charlotte had protected Alice from aristocrat bullies. Even if they didn’t see each other as much anymore, that didn’t mean they were any less close friends. 

Giving up, he hugged her back. He was still uncertain about this entire thing, but if it was Alice’s wish, he would not tell a soul. He just prayed it didn’t come back to haunt them.


	3. Chapter 3

David couldn’t believe this was happening. He had been at home with his wife and daughters, the three of them drawing and painting together when suddenly a servant rushed in to deliver him a letter. From Ultra Magnus himself. It was urgent and a matter he needed to see to right away. David had thought perhaps that there was an emergency among the borders or a leak about assassins. 

He didn’t think it would be worse than that, but he had been wrong. Charlotte had disappeared, seemingly without a trace. No one had seen her leave and no one knew where she was or could have gone.

He didn’t know why, but he thought that perhaps she had returned to their parents’ house. So he quickly summoned a carriage to take him there. He didn’t even wait for the servants to open the doors for him. He just walked into the house, storming through into the living room where his family was sitting.

Except for Charlotte. Even Elmer and Yvonne were there. All gathered in the parlor, sitting on their chairs and couches with wine glasses in their hands.  But not Charlotte.

“David?” his mother said with confusion. She rose to her feet and approached him. “What are you doing here-?”

“Have you seen Charlotte?”

Pauline looked confused. “Isn’t she at the palace?”

So they had no idea where she was either… He looked between his siblings and his father. Louise and Clyde just looked between each other while Yvonne just seemed bewildered. But when his eyes fell to Elmer and his father, he knew something was up. Elmer just looked annoyed whereas Ronald just avoided his gaze.

His eyes narrowed. Damn it, so they did have something to do with this! He knew that they had had business with Ultra Magnus today… They must have done something. They could never let Charlotte be happy, could they?!

He moved away from his mother, eyes locked on the other two. “What happened?”

Ronald attempted to get up, raising a hand to his “David-”

“What happened?!”

Elmer rolled his eyes, setting down his glass to face his younger brother. David had always been like this, far too defensive and protective over Charlotte. Especially when she was the one causing trouble for them in the first place. He and his father had done nothing wrong and now she was causing grief again.

“Father and I had business with the king regardless Charlotte,” Elmer said, ignoring the murderous glare his brother was giving him. “She is not fit to be queen and we felt it best that King Magnus wed someone who was… more suitable for him.”

Pauline looked perplexed, turning to her husband. “Is that true, Ronald?”

Ronald let out a heavy huff, looking around at his family. Yvonne looked stunned whereas Louise and Clyde just sort of stared him, confused. Damn it, why did Elmer have to say anything?! It wasn’t as if the king had agreed with anything they said. It was supposed to be bridge under the water, no one needed to know…

And now everyone did know and was looking at him for an explanation. He knew Pauline had been overjoyed when Charlotte told them of her engagement, but… It just wasn’t right. He heard the whispers among jilted noblemen whose daughters were probably far more qualified to be queen than Charlotte. Even Yvonne and Louise were much better choices.

But no. The king chose Charlotte, for whatever reason. For everyone’s sake, he had hoped to talk him out of it and failed.

“Charlotte does not have what it takes to be queen,” Ronald said. “She is painfully average in all regards. Studies, politics, music, art – she is also not by any means the most beautiful woman. She has no idea how to navigate through the court or how to defend herself. She would not be able to handle it!” 

“How the hell would you know?” David growled. He could feel his hands starting to shake. Always, they always did this to her! “You’ve never given her a chance to prove herself!”

“And just what is there to prove?” Elmer demanded, bringing David’s glare back to him. “There are hundreds of beautiful noblewomen out there who are more than capable of being queen. Charlotte has done nothing with her life to convince anyone she’s worthy-!”

“Charlotte bends over backwards just to convince you people to acknowledge her!” David shouted, throwing his arms up in the air. He normally didn’t yell at his family, especially not when his mother and sisters were around, but he couldn’t take this anymore.

They had no idea what they put her through. It didn’t matter if it was their parents or their siblings. Charlotte had tried everything to get them to acknowledge her. Every field of study, every instrument, every medium of art, politics, dancing, cooking, even cleaning… Nothing. Nothing she did was ever good enough for them. Because she wasn’t considered one of the best or whatever she did wasn’t prestigious enough.

“The king loves her. Why can’t you just leave the matter alone?!”

“Because she will bring shame His Majesty and embarrass him!” Elmer shouted. “Charlotte isn’t capable of being queen! You of all people should know, considering how much time you spend with her-!”

“It’s because I spend so much time with her that I have complete confidence that she will make an excellent queen! Besides, you don’t care if she shames the king. You care about if she shames the family, like you always have!”

“David-!”

“Enough!” he shouted, looking to his father. “You have never given Charlotte any respect. Not once have you ever acknowledged anything she’s done. Whether it was play the flute or learning how to cook, you’ve never once given her the time of day.”

Pauline came up beside her husband, holding up her arms in an attempt to calm the general down. “David, your father-”

“No, Mother. You weren’t any better.”

Her eyes widened. “What-?”

“None of you!” David gestured to the whole room, everyone just staring at him in complete silence. “None of you have ever given Charlotte any respect. All any of you have ever done has talked down to her to the point where she has virtually no sense of self-worth. And even when she was good at something and thought she had finally done something to make any of you proud, you all spit her face because she wasn’t considered the best!”

He was so tired of this. The only reason why he had been lucky was because he had found interest in the military, because he found he could be a great combatant and strategist; he even was able to become a general and bring his family honor. That was the only reason why they treated him decently.

But never Charlotte. All because she didn’t do something to bring the family prestige or something stupid like that. So they treated her almost like some illegitimate child, never bothering introducing her to guest, putting any of her requests second, dismissing her in favor of work and each other… He had hated it and never being able to do much to stop it when they had been growing up.

He honestly thought that they would have left her alone once she got engaged to the king. What could be more prestigious than being in-laws with the king? And yet… His father and Elmer still found fault with it. No matter what Charlotte did, she just wasn’t good enough.

“I don’t even know the hell I came here,” David grumbled. “I thought maybe she might have come here, but why the hell would she run away to the very same place that made her feel like dirt in the first place?”

“What are you talking about?” Elmer demanded.

“Charlotte’s missing! King Ultra Magnus hasn’t been able to find her and no one knows where she’s run off to!”

Louise and Clyde jumped up from the couch, concern growing on their faces. “Charlotte’s missing?” Clyde asked.

“Yes and God only knows where the hell she is.” Then he turned to his father, who looked like he didn’t know what to say. Whether he was feeling guilty or concerned, David didn’t care. “This all because you and your stupid son-” he pointed to Elmer, who was keeping his mouth shut “-couldn’t just leave alone. If she turns up dead, I swear I’ll-!”

But his voice caught his throat. He didn’t even want to think about. Charlotte finally being driven over the edge… Finally being unable to deal with their family’s disrespect and neglect… He knew she had thought about it when they had been younger. He still remembered that time he had caught her holding a rope in her hands, a rope tied into a noose…

But he had been able to coax her into putting it down and had been able to bring her down for some food. Now he had no idea where she was or if she was okay. For all he knew, she could have hurt herself by now. Or worse.

“You should have just left her alone.”

Then David stormed out of the room, leaving the family in a stunned silence. He never should have bothered coming here. Why would she ever want to be around those people? Why did he think for a moment she would be here and why the hell didn’t he think they had anything to do with her disappearance? He had only wasted time come here.

He just hoped someone found her soon.


	4. Chapter 4

Ultra Magnus was currently sitting in his study, looking over documents, but unable to concentrate on any of them. How could he though? He still had no idea where Charlotte was and there weren’t any clues leading to where she might have run off to.

He had waited three days for Prowl’s men to find something. He trusted his spymaster, he knew how capable she was… Yet they had found nothing. No one knew where Charlotte could have gone. David even had some of his own men go out and question her friends and every single one of them said they had no idea where she had gone. Many didn’t even know she was missing.

The advisors were running around like mad by this point, worrying about this getting out to the public. They feared a scandal and continuously tried to tell him to keep this to himself and his most trusted people. All they did was insist that Charlotte would be found and that no one had to know about this.

He didn’t care about any of that. He just wanted her here, safe with him and not out Primus knew where. His anxiety about the situation had only worsened when he had consulted David about his own fears. To think that she was not only out there somewhere, but potentially suicidal?

So he had no other choice. Without his advisors’ input or knowledge, he sent a letter off to the only person he knew could help.

The door opened, a servant entering the room and giving a quick bow. “Your Majesty. Lady Promethea is here to see you.”

“Send her in.”

The servant nodded before quickly disappearing.

Magnus didn’t like to summon his Jarls unless he absolutely had to. He knew how busy they were with their own domains, but he was desperate. And Promethea was just the person he needed for this. He could also trust her to keep things secret. She wasn’t one to run her mouth off to anyone… and out of everyone he knew, she would be able to help.

When the doors opened again, he looked up to see the same servant enter with Promethea in front of him. The king raised a hand to dismiss the young man, who bowed to both of them before exiting the room, closing the door behind him.

“Lady Promethea,” Ultra Magnus greeted. “I apologize for calling you on such short notice.”

"Your Majesty, please." Dropping to a low curtsy, Promethea approached the seat the King offered. "There is no need to apologize; I am at your beck and call. I know you would only call on me if the situation required a more...delicate touch."

It was both a blessing and a curse just how proficient Promethea was in the Game of secrets the court had come to call it. But desperation drove many to do things they didn't otherwise do, including himself. But this was not for him. This was for Charlotte's sake. "Then I assume you must know already."

"Out of respect, Your Majesty, I have refrained until we could discuss in private." Promethea folded her hands, laying them in her lap. "I know full well you do not call upon my services unless it were an urgent matter. Lady Prowl is a talented spymaster and I have full confidence in her abilities, but if she were having difficulties, I can only assume the scope of the matter."

At least she hadn't already found out what was happening. Yet anyway. But he didn't thinl about that for now. Instead, he folded his hands upon his desk. He wasn't sure exactly what to say, but he knew there was no real way of dancing around the subject. Not that he wanted to. He needed her help and she had to know exactly what was wrong.

"Charlotte is missing."

A look of shock immediately fell over her face. Something not easily achieved, but he supposed that this this took a turn she didn't expect.

"Lady Charlotte...is missing." Repeating the answer just seemed so foreign to her. Charlotte, whom she had met many times, talked with and even entertained was missing. Seemingly without a trace if Prowl's own network could not locate her.

"Yes. She has been gone for three days."

"Forgive me for presuming, Your Majesty, but how could Lady Charlotte be missing?" She didn't mean to question the king, but this just seemed so... impossible. Charlotte, the woman he loved and planned to marry, completely disappeared. "I know your guard to be one of the best trained. Surely they would've known where she had journeyed to and if any were with her?"

"My steward, Perceptor, was the last to see her." Ultra Magnus’s hands clenched, but he kept himself in check. Getting angry about what had happened wasn't going to help him find Charlotte. "She didn't just disappear, Promethea. Charlotte... ran away. Shortly after she had heard a conversation between myself and her father and eldest brother."

Promethea refrained from rolling her eyes. She had a number of reports regarding Ronald Banker and his son. Both were respected men among the community, but where they placed their values were rather skewed… Views that often times left Charlotte and others isolated from them. Promethea had once heard Elmer whisper about Charlotte at one of her Galas, confirming her already ferment dislike of them. 

"I see," she nodded, looking to the King. "You will have my full cooperation and access to my network," standing, a small smile crossed her painted lips. "I'll even organize my best to head the investigation."

"Thank you, Promethea." He called back in the servant who was standing outside. “Sidebar will escort you to Prowl’s office. She will help coordinate with you in order to locate Charlotte faster.”

“Of course.” Promethea curtseyed politely before raising her head. “I can assure you that we will find Lady Charlotte soon.”

Ultra Magnus only nodded, watching as Sidebar escorted Promethea from the room. Once he was alone again, he let out a heavy huff and sat back down. He leaned back in his seat, closing his eyes while his hands gripped the armrests.

He had to find her. He knew she was out there, somewhere… Primus, he just wanted her back here, back in his arms where he knew she would be safe. He just wanted to know that she was all right.

But, for now, there was nothing he could do but wait.


	5. Chapter 5

Alice set the cup of tea onto the tray, next to a full plate of eggs and sausage. Jermaine had left for business the day after Charlotte arrived and wouldn’t return until next week. While she was left in charge, Charlotte was still hiding in the gues troom and Alice was starting to get concerned.

It had already been almost a week and all she did was sleep. Charlotte kept the room completely dark, windows locked and curtains closed. Any time food was brought to her, she would only eat a little bit of it and then sleep some more. She also wouldn’t bathe unless Alice dragged her to the tub. Even then, she didn’t wash herself. She would just sit there, seemingly staring at nothing. 

Sometimes, when Alice walked by her door, she would hear her cry. She had tried many times to comfort her, but Charlotte always reject her. She kept insisting she just wanted to be alone for a while.

Lord only knew how long “a while” meant. Keeping her here was starting to put Alice a little on edge. David had stopped by four days ago, asking about Charlotte. She didn’t want to lie to a general, but she had promised not to tell. He seemed to have believed her when she said Charlotte wasn’t there.

Luckily no one else had come by asking about her, but the anxiety was still there. If David was looking for her, that had to have meant others were too. Including the king himself and his men. She didn’t want her and her husband to be accused of kidnapping or something.

Once the tray was set up, she carried it up the stairs. The door to the guest room was surprisingly still open and she was also surprised to find there was light coming through. She walked a little faster, anxious coming up again. Why was the window open? Had Charlotte finally lost it? Did she finally decide to-?!

But when she opened the door, it hadn’t been her worst fears. Charlotte was sitting on the seat by the windowsill, her hands folded in her lap, her hair down and a mess as she gazed out the window. She still looked so sad, almost as if she were about to cry. The tray from dinner last night had been touched, though only slightly. There was still a lot of cold leftovers. 

Alice didn’t say anything though. Instead, she forced herself to smile and walked over to her friend. “Decided to get some fresh air?”

Charlotte didn’t respond right away. She just looked to Alice, then the tray, before turning her gaze back outside. “It’s going to rain,” she said.

Alice looked up. There were storm clouds in the distance. Well, Charlotte always liked the smell of rain. When they had been kids, they used to go out and play in the mud before being mercilessly scolded by their parents. Still, rain was something Charlotte liked and if she was taking an interest in it now, it was probably a good thing. If she was showing some sort of enthusiasm for something, she wasn't thinking everything was hopeless...

So Alice smiled, more whole-heartedly this time, as she sat down the tray on the windowsill. "Looks like. Though if it gets to look like lightning, you'll probably want to close the window."

"Hmmm." Charlotte didn't say anything more.

Alice was all right with that. Even though it wasn't much, at least she was talking a little. For most of the time she had been here, Charlotte didn't say anything at all. This was a major improve compared to how she had been the time before. So, wanting to leave her be, Alice patted her shoulder before taking the dinner tray. As she left the room, she decided to leave the door open. It was probably good to get some air flowing through the room anyway, clear out the stuffiness that had built up.

Charlotte glanced over her shoulder as Alice left. She knew she was being selfish and probably inconsiderate. Here she was, acting like a spoiled child and living in her friend's house, not doing anything but sitting up in this room and thinking. Or crying or sleeping, whatever came to her. She also felt terrible for not eating most of what was given to her, but she just wasn't hungry. Forcing herself to eat more than she could handle just made her sick, so all she ended up doing was nibbling.

Letting out a heavy breath, she reached down and picked up the teacup. It was an herbal tea, by the smell of it. Alice's specialty... Really, what had she done to deserve a friend like Alice? Even though she was useless and couldn't do anything in return, even when she was being a burden, Alice was there for her. To help her. To at least pretend to love her even if she was just a huge pain.

So even if she wasn't hungry, she could at least drink the tea and forget about everything for a few minutes.


	6. Chapter 6

Sitting on a high roof in the capital city was something Solstice loved, but over indulged since she didn't get to the High King's hold very often.

When her mother had called her to help in the 'family business' again, she was beginning to wonder. She knew the dangers of the Game and knew it would make her a target. A fun challenge for the “rambunctious adrenaline junkie,” but she knew the dangers that came with it.

Shaking off those thoughts, she took a moment to reread her orders. Lady Prowl was very thorough, leaving nothing out of her brief. Something her mother wouldn't do given the less known, the more likely her spies survived.

She had to giggle, recalling the shocked or surprised look Lady Prowl showed when she entered the room. Not many knew she was her mother's 'best agent' since she never showed interest in the Game. But the challenge of getting into places, listening and eavesdropping while no one knew and slipping out without a sound was always a rush. But now that the secret was out, Lady Prowl would no doubt be more vigilant in the Jarl meetings. No more sitting in the rafters for her.

Scanning through the brief, she still couldn't believe Charlotte was the one who was missing. She always seemed so nice and kind. They had only ever met at galas or parties, but Solstice considered her a good friend. Who knows what had happened for her to just up and leave like that. It just didn't seem like her at all.

Sighing, standing from the shingles, she overlooked the city.

Prowl's spies say Charlotte's trail ended near the markets, and where her elite spies couldn't go, Solstice would easily slip in. Taking a running start, Solstice catapulted from one roof to the next, making her way to the market.

Finding a small alleyway, she scaled down the wall into the busy market. Eyes open and ears peeked, she walked around the crowd in case anything popped out of the ordinary. Dropping some coins and grabbing an apple, Solstice wandered for what seemed like hours until.

"Hey, what happened to your cart?" Moving closer to the conversation, Solstice spotted a merchant with a customer, pointing to his produce cart.

"Oh, some stupid woman almost ran into me a few days back," the merchant scoffed, though there was no way a woman could have done that much damage. "Came out of nowhere, so to keep from hitting her I veered to the side and got hit by another cart!"

That was interesting... maybe it was Charlotte? Any lead was a good one. So following the road most merchants used to come into the market, Solstice followed the road and kept her ears open for any sounds and eyes for anything familiar. Walking past merchant homes and small storage houses, nothing was really standing out.

But she stilled as someone suspicious rounded the corner. They came around so suddenly she hadn't the chance to say anything, bumping into her before moving on. Before she could question or call out to them, she felt something in her hands. 

It was a note. A note with a crudely scribbled map.

Then it clicked. Her mother had mentioned something about forming a small alliance with Megatron's spymaster, Nebula. Nebula used her contacts in those whom no one took notice of; beggars, prostitutes and those many cast aside. A sad idea but a valuable source of information. The person who bumped her must have been one of her agents.

"Mother dragged me out here to find my friend and doesn't even give me a chance," she scoffed, but then ultimately smiled. It did make her job a little easier and, with all of this involving the king, she really couldn't afford taking her time.

Taking to the roofs again, Solstice easily cleared the distance between the side street and the location on the map; a small, well-kept two-story home. She had just reached the house as the first drops of rain started to drop down. An upstairs window was open, allowing her to see into the room.

It looked relatively normal, a little small but livable, but what caught Solstice's eye was the woman in the room. Her back may have been turned, but Solstice knew. It was Charlotte, sitting in front of a small vanity and slowly combing through her hair. Why was she here? And if she was all right, why hadn't she gone home? 

With the window open, she could just slip in and out without the owner knowing. But her mother's voice rung in her ear and years of etiquette came back. As easy as it could be, she wasn't about to enter someone else's home. Court was different, anyone could go there, but a home was somewhere meant to be safe, not violated.

Resigning, and getting fed up with the rain, Solstice scaled the building to the street and approached the door. Taking a breath, thinking about what she could say, she knocked on the door and waited.

When the door opened, a young woman around Charlotte's age answered it. Solstice remembered there were names on the note, names of the owners of the house no doubt... Jermaine and Alice Griffith. So she had to assume this was Alice Griffith. But why would Charlotte be here? How did she know this merchant?

"O-Oh, you're-!" Alice quickly bowed her head, though her anxiety skyrocketed. Why was Lady Solstice here? It had to have been because of Charlotte, there was no other explanation as to why a Jarless’ daughter would be at her home! She had honestly thought that no one knew where Charlotte was; it had almost been a week!

But she had promised Charlotte. She had to keep up the act for her friend's sake.

"Forgive me, Lady Solstice-" Alice raised her head. "-but what brings you here?"

Solstice could see it plain on Alice's face. She knew Charlotte was here and was trying to cover it up. Why, she had yet to determine.

"Sorry for coming here unannounced, ma'am," Solstice bowed, "But I'm hoping to speak with Charlotte."

All right, well, damn... It seemed that she knew Charlotte was here. And even though this woman had way more power over her, she couldn't let her in. Charlotte wasn't ready to go home yet. She had just starting to move around again. She had even eaten half of her breakfast today! And now she was actually taking care of herself without anyone having to help or force her...

So, bracing herself, Alice moved herself in between the door frame and the door, blocking the only way inside with her small body. She knew she wouldn't be able to much against someone with Dragon's Blood, but she could try her best.

"I can't... I can't let you do that," Alice said firmly. "I'm sorry, but... Please leave."

"I'm afraid I can't," Solstice sighed. With the way Alice was acting and how she was placing herself before her, she must be good friends with Charlotte. "I could've gone through Charlotte's open window, but I didn't. I've been asked by the King to find her, everyone is looking for her. We're worried and afraid she isn't okay."

But Alice didn't move a muscle. If anything, her grip tightened on the door.

And Solstice could see Alice wasn't letting up. She didn't want to, but she had to pull her mother's card. "If you don't want me in your home, I respect that. But I have a duty to report my findings to the King, whom won't be as subtle as me, and I wouldn't want to put your family through that."

Alice gritted her teeth. She knew that. She knew this woman would tell the king, who would no doubt come storming through here... But by the time he did, Alice would have already told Charlotte and Charlotte might have been gone by that point.

"If I could have just a few minutes to talk with Charlotte, get an idea why she ran away and why she hasn't come back, I'll leave and ensure the king doesn't barge in-"

"It's because she doesn't want to go back, okay?!"

Solstice stopped, watching Alice closely. Her grip on the door had tightened and her face pursed with worry. She knew about as much as Solstice did, and all of this would coming to a point.

"Do you know why?"

"Just-!" Why did this woman even care? Knowing most of the nobility Charlotte had dealt with, Lady Solstice probably held judgment. Judgment Charlotte didn't need right now. Not when she was starting to feel better. "She's finally starting to brighten up again, just leave her alone until she's ready. She'll come back, she just needs to build herself up again... So please, just-! For now, just go back to the king and leave her be!"

Then she slammed the door shut, quickly locking it and backing away from the door. She was probably going to get into so much trouble for this... At least Jermaine wasn't home. He probably would have had a heart attack seeing her treat someone of such high rank like that. Hell, even she was starting to shake.

It had probably been a terrible idea... But it was for Charlotte. She had promised.

Solstice just blinked at the door. That was certainly new… And a waste of time. She sighed. Simply knowing Charlotte was here wouldn't help the house's owners, since the King would overreact and send everyone here. If she had an explanation, straight from Charlotte, the king would take her word and leave it be.

Turning to the house, standing under the window, she took hold and climbed as quietly as she could. Coming up to the window, still open despite the rain, she peeked in.

Charlotte was still there, gently combing her hair.

"Knock knock," she said softly, lightly tapping the glass.

Charlotte turned, eyes widened when she saw Solstice hanging on the sill of the open window. But she shouldn't have been too surprised... She had a feeling someone was bound to find her eventually. The fiancée of the king didn't just go missing and have no one look for her.

But before she could say anything, the bedroom door opened. Alice walked in just as Solstice ducked out of the way, keeping out of sight as Alice moved over to Charlotte.

"Lady Solstice is downstairs," she said softly, guilt apparent in her voice. "I-I tried to send her away, but-! I'm sorry, they know... She'll probably tell the king you're here."

Charlotte didn't say anything, her eyes falling to the hands on her lap. She spared a glance at the window before letting out a small sigh. It wasn't anyone's fault, especially not Alice's. She had already done so much, neither of them could have expected her to keep her here a secret forever. It was only a matter of time... Besides, Alice had done more than enough.

"It's okay," she murmured. "I'll make sure you and Jermaine don't get into trouble... Thank you, Alice."

"... Charlotte, really, I'm-!"

But she shook her head. "It's fine... Really, you've done lot for me. More than I deserved." She moved to hug her friend, though her arms were weak and she felt exhausted once again. She didn't want to go back. She just wanted to sleep some more, here and in peace. "Why... Why don't you go rest? You deserve a little nap, don't you think?"

"Aren't you-?" 

"I'll be fine, please Alice... Jermaine will be worried if he comes home to see you tired."

Alice hesitated. True, she hadn't been sleeping too well lately, but she couldn't help it. She had been worried about Charlotte. She just didn't want her to hurt herself or become depressed again. Charlotte had been there for her when they were younger... She wanted to be there for her now. But at the same time, she knew it would only upset Charlotte more if she thought she was losing sleep because of her...

Sighing, she gave up. Maybe some rest would do her some good. And it would make Charlotte feel a little better too.

"If you need me, come get me, okay? I'll be in my room downstairs."

Charlotte only nodded, letting Alice give her a quick hug before heading out the room. Once she had closed the door, Charlotte let her tired smile fall. Then she turned back to the window to see that Solstice had pulled herself up again. Though now she was much wetter than before thanks to the rain. Judging by the look on her face, she had questions. Questions Charlotte didn't want to answer.

She turned back to face the vanity, though she kept her eyes on her hands. "You'll catch a cold if you stay out there," she murmured softly. "Come in."

Solstice slipped in, minding where she dripped on the floor. Pulling the window slightly closed, she sat on the window sill.

"I don't want to bother you, Alice made it clear you don't want to be found," Solstice didn't want to sugar-coat this. She knew Charlotte was here on her own terms and was dealing with a lot, she just needed something to give the King and ensure he doesn't hurt the situation any more than it was. "Anything I can pass on to placate King Magnus will be enough."

She could also tell Charlotte was thinner. She must have had a lot to deal with, and boy could she relate.

"Off topic, and not to sound rude but...you are eating, right?"

Charlotte didn't look at her nor respond to the question. She was eating, but... not like she should have. Even today, she had only eaten half of what had been given to her, which is the most she's had during one meal during the entire time she had stayed here. But if she wasn't hungry, she couldn't make herself eat. It would only make her sick.

"I just want to be alone," she finally said, picking up a comb. But she only held on to it, never bringing up to her still messy hair. "I'll return eventually."

"Charlotte," Solstice sighed, "You know Ultra Magnus better than anyone, he's not going to just accept that," feeling she wasn't dripping as much now, she walked over to her. Taking the comb, more concerned when Charlotte didn't resist, and started combing her hair. "I don't want to push the issue, really I do get you're working through some heavy stuff. I get that. I just don't want the king to 'disturb the peace' around here just to get you home."

Charlotte's hair was so dry and coarse, and her skin pale. She must have been in this room the entire time she was here.

"Then don't tell him you saw me. He doesn't need to know where I am."

And she didn't want him to know either. She didn't even want to see him. She didn't want to see him, his advisors, her family, any of the nobles... She honestly didn't even want to see Solstice. She was tired. Tired of trying, tired of doing her best, tired of pretending everything was okay when it just wasn't. Her own family couldn't even muster up any will to care about her. She couldn't do anything for anyone...

And they all knew that. They were all aware of how useless she was. She was worth even less than a gravel of dirt. While some pretended to be nice and pretended for her sake, it only made everything worse. It gave her false hope, made her actually think she could be worth anything... But she wasn't. She was an embarrassment to not only her family, but everyone around her.

It was better if she had never gotten close to Ultra Magnus. Even he knew... He knew just how little she was worth. He also thought she would embarrass him, just like her father and Elmer had warned him. It would explain why he didn't bring her to more serious, formal engagements or public events. He didn't really want to be seen with her. Maybe he didn't really even love her...

"You know I can't do that," Solstice said, watching Charlotte from the mirror. She could tell her mind was spiraling down into somewhere dark. "Even if I tell the King a lie, Mother will know. And I'm not the only one who knows you're here, if I say nothing, someone else will speak. Kind of why this Game is so annoying," she scoffed, teasing Charlotte's hair into a loose plait. "I don't want anyone else getting hurt over this, and I can see there is more going on than anyone is telling me. You can't rush this kind of thing, it won't help anyone."

"... And you would know?" Charlotte didn't mean to say it so bitterly, but it was getting to her. She didn't want Solstice to be here, she didn't want to talk to her, she didn't want to think about Ultra Magnus or any of them. She just wanted to be left alone.

"You want to push everyone out because you don't want to think of anything, because if you think, your mind is going to list off everything wrong about you, every flaw, every mistake and every little nitpick you've given yourself or someone has given you," Solstice didn't intend to sound so deadpan, but reliving her more turbulent years brought up some old scars. "You wonder why you're here, why anyone puts up with you if you’re such a failure and why you keep going when it's all pointless…"

Finishing the last braid, she tied off the style with a small cord from the vanity. "So you either wallow and waste away or find some way to curb the numbness, use something to make you feel again, even if it causes pain."

"Maybe you should be a counselor instead of one of your mother's spies," Charlotte snapped, pulling her hair away the other. She didn't want to hear this again. David had told her this, Alice had told her this - she knew all of this. If that advice was supposed to work, it should have done so by now. And Solstice speaking as if she really knew was happening to her... She couldn't stand it.

She stood up, though remained hunched over the vanity with her hands firmly planted on the vanity. She could feel her legs shaking, she felt the tears in her eyes... She was so tired. She didn't want to keep doing this anymore.

"You don't understand... Just leave me alone."

"And yet, I've been there, and I do understand," Solstice stepped back, leaning against the window sill. "Believe it or not, I've been through the 'Valley of Death' Father called it. Like trudging through tar with every bad thought and comment making you fall deeper."

She didn't want to diminish Charlotte by chastising her; she just wanted to show she understood and why she didn't want to push the issue. She probably wasn't doing a good job, story of her life, but if Charlotte would just give her something to keep Ultra Magnus from raising this place to find her, then maybe she could save her that heartache.

"Then you should know I'm tired," she said, feeling her throat starting to close up. She didn't want to cry. She didn't want to think about anything anymore. Her family, her worth, her life... She just wanted to forget about feeling. She didn't want to hurt anymore. "I'm so tired... I just want to be left alone. I don't want to pretend anymore when everything isn't okay... Why can't I just be ignored like I am always?!"

"But you're not being ignored," Solstice pushed off the sill and took Charlotte's shoulders gently. She struggled a moment but Solstice held firm. "If you were being ignored, then why is the King, your brother, my mother, heck even Lady Nebula from Megatron's hold, the guards, the Steward, Lady Prowl, all of them are looking for you. It's because we love you, we care about you and we want you safe. Locking yourself up is putting yourself in a prison, only you can let yourself out of."

Looking around the room, Solstice could pick out at least a handful of things Charlotte could use to harm herself. and if her comments were concerning her, she could only assume the worse. "It's not healthy, and you don't deserve it."

Charlotte felt herself getting angrier and angrier. She was lying. Solstice was just lying. They were looking for her because if it got out to everyone else that she was missing, it would have been a complete scandal. One that would bring her family even more shame than they already had, thanks to her existence. They didn't care about her safety or her health or what she deserved.

And what prison? This room was her solace, a fortress... A shield from their eyes and their words that continued to beat down on her back like a sledgehammer, a reminder of how she wasn't good enough and she would never be good enough. No one cared, no one loved... Solstice was a liar. At least her family, as terrible as they made her feel, never lied about it.

Why was it the one time she didn't want attention, she was getting it? She was better off not in the way and yet, they kept coming to her like flies to honey. All they wanted to do was torment her and remind her that she was a failure, an embarrassment... Maybe it was fun for them, she didn't know. But she didn't want this.

"Let go of me," she choked, her hands moving to her thighs, digging her nails into the clothing as she felt herself shaking. "Just let go and go home... Tell him, I don't care, but I won't be here even if he shows up! Just go home!"

Solstice watching, seeing how she clawed her skirt, how her hand grabbed her thighs. It didn't click at first until she watched Charlotte's eyes fall on a long sharp hairpin on the vanity. Once the thought clicked, Solstice grabbed Charlotte's hands and pulled her away from the vanity.

"Charlotte, look at me," Charlotte refused, but Solstice persisted until their eyes locked. "Focus on me, you don't deserve this. You're better than this."

"You're lying!" she hissed out, tears streaming down her face as she desperately tried to free herself. "You're a liar...! Stop pretending you understand! You don't understand anything! I've never been deserving, not once...!"

Charlotte was able to pull a hand free. Tears streaming down her face, she glared hard at Solstice. "You don't know anything. You know nothing about me! You could never understand-!"

"Charlotte-!"

"You've always been loved. Always, always - someone has loved you and been there for you! Always-!" Her hand clutched at her dress again, right around her thighs as her tears fell faster. Solstice didn't know anything. From the moment she had been born, she had been loved. Charlotte saw how much Lady Promethea adored her daughter, she knew how much she would do for her child...

Charlotte never had that. She had born useless, stupid compared to a family of gifted geniuses... there was no room for that in her family. Even if she tried, it was useless. Her family knew it, the nobles knew it, her fiancé knew it... Everyone knew it. She had never been unconditionally loved all her life... Not like Solstice had. Not like many of her friends had.

"They never loved me..." she whimpered out, her anger disappearing from her face as despair slowly took over. "They never believed in me, I'm never going to be good enough... I'm so tired, Solstice... I can't, I can't..."

"W-wait..." Solstice was confused, what did she mean. This didn't sound like she was trying convincing herself no one loved her. She was meaning her family, that much Solstice picked up, but there was no falter in her voice, no second guessing. "What do you mean by 'they never loved or believed in you?"

"My family... Ever since I was born..." Charlotte slowly lifted up her dress, not caring about how disgraceful it might have been. She didn't want to feel this way. She didn't want things to be like this anymore. "I've only brought them shame. I'm an embarrassment... And I tried so hard to do something worth noting... But I couldn't. I couldn't do anything..."

She didn't pull it up all the way, but she stopped once she reached her mid-thigh. There, plain as day, were her scars. Mostly faded, she hadn't done anything to herself since she had moved out of her parents' house, but... There were days. Bad days where she would scratch, but not cut. She promised David she wouldn't if she lived with him. And she had never done it during the time she lived with Magnus because those feelings never came.

But those feelings were here now. "No one ever loved me the way you have been loved."

Strangely, a bright light bloomed in front of her. Opening her eyes, Charlotte leaned back as Solstice seemed to erupt with light. A long tail whipped around behind her, wings unfurled and twitched behind her, horns curved over her head while scales dotted her arms and legs. Looking down, her hands were covered by ghostly claws, the aura warming her skin where Solstice held her. Looking up, she was shocked to see her eyes aflame with small licks of ghostly flames flicking out from her clenched jaw.

"S-Solstice?"

But Solstice closed her eyes, taking a shaking breath. Charlotte watched as the aura dimmed before disappearing. The horns, tail and wings took longer but eventually they faded too.

"Family are meant to love," Solstice hissed. "No matter what, Family loves and cherishes," opening her eyes, Solstice blinked back her angry tears. "Charlotte, you're right. I don't understand."

Charlotte didn’t say anything. But she allowed Solstice to guide her to sit on the bed, too stunned to really pull away or react.

"For your family to do such a thing...makes me sick. This isn't how families are supposed to be, why a family could do that to one of their own flesh and blood," Solstice took another breath, her aura rising like a hungry flame before dying again. "The thought alone makes me sick. But I care, so I'm staying."

Charlotte was still shocked from seeing Solstice's aura. She had seen an aura once, Megatron's when Magnus was discussing something with him. She hadn't been too surprised by Megatron's display, but to see Solstice's, who rarely got angry like that... it was startling.

Pulling her hands together, Solstice slowly took her hand and cupped Charlotte's head, leaning in close until they touched foreheads. Her mother had done this for her, whenever she was feeling sad or diving into her darkness. "You're strong than you know, I believe that. Because the way you carry yourself, despite all that, for living so long with such...abuse. You're stronger than any Dragon blood I know."

Charlotte didn't say anything. All she could do was sit there, slowly starting to cry. She didn't know what to think anymore. She didn't believe her. Or maybe she didn't want to believe her. She didn't know anymore. She had never seen Solstice angry like that before... and she didn't think it was possible to fake a Dragon's aura.

She pulled away from Solstice, only to fall back onto the bed. She sobbed quietly into the sheets, gripping the covers tightly as her body shook and trembled. She didn't know what to do anymore. She wanted to be loved, she wanted to be good enough, she didn't want to feel like everything she did was a mistake... She wanted her family to tell her that. She wanted Magnus to say she wasn't an embarrassment, she wanted to be something to them...

But she couldn't face any of them. All she could do was sit in a room and sob because she was too scared to confront reality. She ran away and she was tired and she didn't want to listen to what anyone had to say.... And she was lonely. She was so lonely, even though she was the one who was pushing everyone away. She didn't know what she wanted anymore.

So she lied there and sobbed.

Solstice shifted closer on the bed, stroking Charlotte's back. Her mother would place her head in her lap when she was upset but Solstice felt that might become awkward. She cared for Charlotte, she truly did, but she didn't want to make her uncomfortable.

It was better to cry and let everything out than hurt herself. She knew she couldn't do more, as much as she hated the idea but she made a promise, she would stay. No matter how long it would take, she would stay until Charlotte calmed and got everything she needed out.

Then she would report to the King, and boy did she have something to say.


	7. Chapter 7

Charlotte had eventually stopped crying, though it had been a long while. Even then, she didn't say much after she had wiped her face and had pushed Solstice away. Then she asked her to leave, saying that she just wanted to think and that Solstice could tell Ultra Magnus whatever she wanted to. She just wanted some time to herself. 

Solstice respected that. So once she was certain Charlotte was all right, she took off towards the castle. But it wasn't exactly a peaceful trip back, not with her mind thinking over a hundred different things. As she made her way back, she ran over and over in her head what she would say. She knew everything that came to mind would be stepping over some line. She had to be professional and to the point, and yet she just wanted to vent and curse down Charlotte's family, aside from the General.

But, she thought as she jumped through an open window of the palace, she did have to tell the king something. She had been sent out to find Charlotte, which she had... but everything was much more complicated than any of them had thought.

Entering the King's study, she saw her mother sitting with Lady Prowl. They both looked up, Prowl standing with an almost hopefully look on her face while Promethea remain seated with a gentle smile; she knew Solstice had completed the task. She never expected anything less from her daughter.

"Lady Solstice," Ultra Magnus called, urging her to stand closer to his desk.

Stepping into the center of the room, Solstice took a breath to calm her nerves. She knew that she was going to get into major trouble for this, but... She had to do it. It was for Charlotte.

"Please, tell me. Have you found Charlotte?"

"Yes, My King."

Promethea perked a brow, eyeing her for a few moments. Something was off. Solstice should have been thrilled if her little tip found Charlotte. But instead of being overjoyed or excited, her face was sullen, reserve. Solstice never looked like that unless it was truly serious. And if it was serious, Promethea couldn't help but to worry.

Prowl took note of Promethea's expression; the veteran spymaster knew something was amiss. Prowl's eyes narrowed, looking back and forth between her and her daughter. Something must have gone wrong. Something must have happened, otherwise Prowl knew Promethea would not be making such a face.

"Where is she? Is she all right?" he asked, standing from his desk.

"She's alive, she's here in the city... but I won't say where."

The room was silent for a moment, all eyes locking on the king. Slowly, an uncharacteristic look of rage came over his face as he glared at the young woman before him.

"What?!" he shouted, his voice echoing through the study and probably out into the hallway. He was normally in control of his emotions, but... Charlotte had been missing for six days. He had no idea where she was or if she was all right. Only Solstice knew... and she dared to deny him the location of his fiancée? Had she any idea how worried he was?!

He spared a glare at Promethea. She remained unmoved, her eyes still on Solstice. He would have demanded her to know what was going on, but her own questioning look told him Solstice was alone on this decision. That only made him all the angrier as he turned back to Solstice, who remained unperturbed by his growing wrath.

"Solstice. Where is Charlotte?"

"Your Majesty, Charlotte isn't in a good state of mind," Solstice stated, standing firm. "When I found her, it was as if she were a shell of her former self. She hasn't been eating properly. She was pale and lethargic. She's not in a good place right now."

His eyes widened, his worry waning against his anger. If that were true, then it was all the more reason for Solstice to tell him where she was! "Solstice, if she's not doing well there, then she needs to be here!"

"To be frank, Your Majesty, she doesn't want to return until she's ready. And I for one refuse to push anymore on her, she's been through-"

"Solstice, you will tell me where she is or I will be force to punish and imprison you for withholding information and conspiracy." He did not want to make threats, especially not against Promethea's child, but he had no choice. She wouldn't tell him where Charlotte was. All he wanted was to make sure she was safe, to bring her back home where he could be with her. "Now. Where. Is. Charlotte?"

Solstice remained calm by. She did her job, she found Charlotte, but after everything that had happened… She just couldn’t.

"With all due respect, My King, after what I saw, after what she told me...I would suffer punishment before telling anyone something that isn't mine to tell."

Promethea stood, worry coming over her as she looked at Ultra Magnus's hard face. The idea of her daughter being tortured or imprisoned was something she couldn't bear to think of. Not after all that had happened in their lives. She could see this was something Solstice truly believed in and she wanted to respect that. But she didn't want to see her daughter locked away or hurt.

Seeing his threat had no effect, Ultra Magnus huffed and looked to Prowl. "Send for the guards. Have them escort Solstice to the dungeons."

But before Prowl, who looked hesitant, could do anything, the doors to his study opened. They all turned, eyes going wide as Charlotte suddenly entered the room. Her head was casted down and she didn't seem to acknowledge anyone. Not even her fiancé, whose anger had disappeared in place of shock.

"L-Lady Charlotte?" Prowl stammered.

She didn't reply. Instead, she moved herself in front of Solstice, standing before the king with her head still casted down. She stood still, her hands gripping each other tightly as they were faced in front of her. She had only arrived a few short minutes ago. She had been rushed by guards, who all offered to take her to the king. But she had wanted to go alone.

She honestly never meant to leave Alice's house. But shortly after Solstice had left, Charlotte had looked in the mirror and knew she couldn't stay there any longer. There were bags under her swollen, red eyes, she was thinner and paler than normal. Her skin was dry and chapped, her hair tangled and frizzy and gross. So even though she couldn't find the strength to make herself look decent, she knew she had to come back.

Even if Solstice turned out to be lying about people caring about her, she still needed to face everything. Running away wasn't going to fix anything. She had to at least try doing... something. She wasn't sure what to really do. But she had to do something, that much she was sure of.

And the first thing she had to do was keep her friend from getting put in prison.

"I asked her not to tell you," she said to Magnus, though she didn't dare look at his face. "Please don't punish her."

Ultra Magnus looked in between her and Solstice. The latter touched Charlotte's shoulder, moving around to look her in the eye. But Charlotte avoided her gaze, moving one of her hands up to tell her to stop. Solstice looked a little hurt, but she rubbed her back before pulling away from again.

He huffed, reaching up to rub his eyes. There was no use punishing her now. Charlotte had returned and he didn't want to upset her. Solstice had been telling the truth though - the Charlotte before him now didn't look anything like the woman he had fallen in love with. Primus, he had never seen her like this... All he wanted to do was hold her to him, apologize for causing her pain... Just anything that would bring back her smile.

So he raised a hand to Prowl. "Disregard that order. Solstice. Promethea. Thank you for your services and time. If you three do not mind, I would... like to speak with Charlotte alone."

Prowl nodded. She bowed to both Promethea and the king before quickly dismissing herself. Solstice bowed too, far lower than Prowl, before excusing herself from the room. Promethea seemed to be at a loss for a few moments. But she turned to the King and uttered a small apology, followed by a curtsy. Then she hurried out after her daughter, allowing the servants to close the door behind her.

"Solstice!" Promethea tried to remain composed, hurrying to her daughter as she turned into an unoccupied room. "Solstice, what on earth-" she stopped, cut off as Solstice embraced her.

"I love you, Mother," she whispered, not trusting her voice as she held back tears.

Promethea was stunned. Solstice didn't act like this... She couldn't say what had happened, but she would certainly expect Solstice to explain later. She couldn't keep her in the dark about this, not when her child seemed so close to tears. But she didn't say anything about it. Instead, she held Solstice close, running her hands through her hair.

She would find out everything later. Holding her to her for now was good enough for them both.


	8. Chapter 8

Charlotte and Ultra Magnus had sat down on the loveseat. He moved as close as he could to her, even though she wouldn’t look at him. He wanted to hold her and kiss her and finally feel relieved knowing she was back safe in his arms…

But she didn’t come to him. She let him sit close to him, but when he had tried to put his arms around her, she flinched away. Then she said she wanted to talk. That she had something to tell him.

For a moment, he feared that she didn’t want to marry him anymore. He knew he had been partly responsible for her running away… After all, she had run away after she had heard the conversation between him and her father and eldest brother. He didn’t know what exactly had hurt her, but he knew what had been said was to blame.

Charlotte’s hands clenched in her lap. She didn’t even know where to begin, but she knew she had to say something. They couldn’t sit there in silence forever, especially when he agreed to let her talk.

So, after taking a deep breath, she murmured softly, “I’m sorry I worried you.”

She did a lot more than just worry him, but he didn’t say that. But he did move one of his hands over her clamped ones, shoulders relaxing when she didn’t pull away. “I’m just happy that you returned… and that you’re all right.”

She nodded, trying to think of what to say next. If… If she was going to marry this man, if he truly wanted to marry her, he had to know. He only knew that her family didn’t think much of her, but he didn’t know how badly it affected her. He didn’t know how she had really felt or what was going through her mind because she never had the courage to tell him. She just wanted him to love her…

Would he no longer feel for her if he knew the truth? Would he think being with her would be too much of a hassle? If he already thought she was embarrass him… Maybe this would be too much emotional baggage for him. He was the king, after all. He couldn’t waste his time worrying about when he had an entire kingdom to run. 

She didn’t want to trap him… She didn’t want to be the reason he suffered in the future. Even if he wouldn’t love her after this, she would be okay. She would be all right.

“… I’ve told you how my family… How David was the only one who ever really got alone with me?”

“Yes.”

“It… My family, my parents… A-And my siblings too.” She found the courage to slowly look up at him, seeing his gentle and solemn expression looking back at her. “You know how they’re all… great at something? Accomplished in their… fields?”

He looked a little confused, but nodded.

“I… I was never… really great at anything,” she said softly. She could feel her spine grow colder, but she had to say this. It wouldn’t make her feel better, but she had to say something. “I-I’m still not… that particularly skilled at much.”

“You play the flute quite well though,” he pointed out.

“… I guess so.” But quite well wasn’t good enough. Not in her house. Not to mention they had no respect for the flute, not like they did the harp or the piano, two instruments Charlotte had never gotten the hang of. Louise and Yvonne had though. A fact her mother tended to rub in her face. 

She bit her bottom lip, suddenly feeling the urge to cry. She would have thought that with all the crying she had done this past week, she wouldn’t have been able produce anymore tears. But it seemed that she still had room for a little more crying as tears started trickling out from the corners of her eyes.

Ultra Magnus’s eyes widened. “Charlotte-?!”

But she didn’t let him hold her. She pressed her hands against his chest to keep him from embracing her. He looked hurt and at a loss, but this was for his own good. She had to show him. He had to know what it really meant to marry someone like her. To give him a chance to change his mind before he was stuck with her.

“Do you love me?” she asked.

“Of course-!” He took her hands, placing them down on the couch and holding them tightly. “Charlotte, I love you. There is no one else I care for and adore more than you.”

She sniffled, pulling her hands back to wipe away her tears. Even if he would change his mind later, she at least wanted to hear him say him. Just one more time because he realized that her father and brother had been right, that she would only embarrass him and bring him shame.

Taking a deep breath, she gripped the skirt of her dress tightly. “Do you know why I told you I… I wanted to wait until we were married to have sex?”

A look of confused fell over the king. Everything being said here, Charlotte’s “sex before marriage” talk was the last thing he had expected to be brought off. It didn’t even seem relevant to the conversation! But seeing her sitting there, her hands trembling for a response, he nodded.

“… It’s not because I think I have to. It’s just… I didn’t want you to see this.”

He was about to ask what when she started pulling up her skirt. He leaned back, eyes going wide as he grew more and more confused. But before he could ask her to explain, she pulled it up to past her thighs and he saw them. His eyes widened, looking back up at Charlotte with a mix of horror and shock.

But she didn’t look back at him. Her eyes were casted down on the faded scars and scratches that decorated her skin. It was the only thing that had made her feel better when she had been younger. When David hadn’t been there, when her friends weren’t around, when she had been alone and ignored and told to just stay out of the way…

She may have not have done it in almost two years, but that didn’t mean she was okay. This whole adventure of hers had proved she had never been okay.

“This was the only thing that made everything better,” she whimpered, hands tightening around the fabric. “I-It just made things hurt less… I-I haven’t done it in two years, but… But I didn’t want you to see these. I thought… I thought you wouldn’t love me if you knew-! If you knew I-I-I was…”

She couldn’t say it. Her throat closed up as her hands released her skirt, letting it slide back to cover up her thighs.   

“I just wanted to be with you,” she whimpered, hanging her head in shame. “Y-You made me think… Th-That my parents might have been wrong. Th-That I was actually worth something…! I didn’t want you to hate me or think like everyone else, but-! I was wrong, I can’t hide it – I’m only going to embarrass you-!”

“Charlotte–”

“It doesn’t just go away…” She gripped her skirt tightly. Everything was ruined now. She wanted to be worth it, she wanted to be someone worth standing beside him, but she wasn’t.  “Things like this-! Me being this way… I-It’ll happen, it might even happen when nothing’s wrong, it will come and I’ll look like this-” she gestured to her disheveled self, her tangled hair, her ugly face, all of it “-and I’ll be gross and unpresentable and I’ll cause you problems and you’ll be humiliated-!”

“Char-!”

“They were right,” she sobbed, tears trickling down her face. “Father and Elmer were right… I’m not good enough for you, I’m not-!”

His arms suddenly wrapped tightly around her, pulling her into his chest. Charlotte frozen up and tried to pull back, but one hand held her head against him while the other was planted firmly on her back. She couldn’t understand for a moment what he was doing, after everything she had just told him…

He should have been disgusted by her. He should have thought being with her was a mistake, that she wasn’t anything like he thought she was. She had always tried to be optimistic around him, a happy and cheery woman he had fallen for… Did he think she was making this up? That this was some sort of test?

“L-Let go-!”

“They weren’t right,” he murmured, holding her tighter. “You’re more than good enough… I’ve never once thought you weren’t.”

“B-But I-!”

“I don’t care.” His pressed his lips against the top of her head, feeling her trembling harder than before. He had no idea if his words were getting through to her or not, but he had to try. “It’s fine if you do embarrass me. It’s fine when these moods happen. It’s fine if you won’t always know what to do. I only want to be with you. I only want to marry you.”

Charlotte just started sobbing harder. But instead of pushing him away, her hands came up to hold him back. She couldn’t see his face, but she wanted to believe him. She wanted to believe that the man she loved wasn’t going to push her away for this. That maybe someone really did think she was worth something…

“I love you, Charlotte,” he said, feeling her starting to shiver and shake as she broke down in his arms. “No matter what, I will always love you.”

It was too good to be true, but Charlotte was too exhausted to fight it anymore. If he was lying, she would know later. For now, she allowed him to whisper softly in her ear as she sobbed like a child. Even if it was all a lie, the warmth she was feeling right now wasn’t. And for the moment, it was all she needed.

* * *

Ultra Magnus had cancelled the rest of his appointments that day to be with her. She tried to tell him that she would be all right, that he should tend to his duties, but he assured her that today was nothing important. At least not more important than her, as he had put it.

So, embarrassed, she allowed him to carry her back to her bedroom to bathe and rest. It was a bit uncomfortable to have him watch her, but he wanted to make sure she took a proper bath this time and actually washed her hair… Though admittedly, she would have to get it cut later due to the dead ends. Still, having him see her scars so closely made her feel… uncertain.

He didn’t say anything about them though, and she could tell he was trying not to look anywhere but her face as the servants helped her wash. Then, once she had been dressed and taken care of, they had brought her some food. Just some soup and bread, not wanting to hurt her stomach. She did her best to eat it all, but it was hard. She still didn’t want to really eat…

But she didn’t want to worry Ultra Magnus more than she already had, so she ate what she could. He seemed satisfied that she had ate at all. And once she finished her food, the servants left them alone as she lied on her bed, snuggled up against the king’s chest as his fingers ran through her hair.

She was tired, but… not like she had before. She didn’t feel so lonely or cold. Her face hurt from all the crying, but she felt warm and full. Nothing ached, not even the scars on her thighs. Maybe it had been a good idea for her to come home… She would have to apologize to Alice and Solstice later. And everyone else. She had caused so much trouble…

  
But she brushed those thoughts aside for now. She just wanted to be with Ultra Magnus right now and only think of that.  

“I’ll have your family be notified of your return,” he said.

“They know?”

“I had asked David for help and he thought you returned home.”

“Hmm…” Except for David, they probably wouldn’t care if she returned or not. They probably just wanted the whole thing to end whether she was dead or alive and pray that no one found out about what had happened. Just by disappearing, she probably caused them some amount of great embarrassment.

When her arms tightened around him, Ultra Magnus just patted her head. “David will be very relieved to know you’re safe. He was worried about you.”

She didn’t say anything else, but he was all right with that. He didn’t want to push her on this… Besides, he had underestimated how sensitive the topic of family was to her before. David himself had never been comfortable around the family either. While he wanted to ask, he knew now was not the time.

He was all right with that too. He knew she needed him to just be there for her right now. And he always would be, no matter what.


End file.
